WPL Comic Book Club

The meeting (Kom)

The broken horn inn wasn’t a 5 star hotel but for some strange reason this is where the king chose for the gathering of adventurers. The room i rented smelled of rat scrotum and everything was chipping, moldy or had holes in them, just how Kom liked it. During breakfast i saw potential friends or enemies at the table, a strange scaly man (should probably stay away from him), a sea elf(potential competition), a huntress and her bodyguard( a strange duo but at least they can provide food), a strange girl who talks in Shakespearian English(strange but okay) a farm-girl who seems puts herself above everyone else(potential client) , a retired castle guard(probably pretty handy with a sword), an Elvin mage (great, an ELF),A woman with a talent for herbs(Hm, a healer, perhaps?) and the messenger Kerwin (perfect, one of these dolts). The messenger started to speak saying things like oath this and pledge that and Oh The king is the greatest! we all took the oath(some more reluctant than others), with all of us ready for the task he said that there is an ogre attacking a nearby town and we will be getting a 100 gold reward. Off we went to the town, not knowing what troubles and misadventures awaited us.


The Broken Horn Inn wasn’t a 5 star hotel but for some strange reason this was the location the king chose for the gathering of adventurers. The room I rented smelled of rat scrotum and everything was chipping, moldy or had holes in them, just how I like it. (Don’t change tenses in the middle of a paragraph) During breakfast I saw potential friends and enemies at the table; (use a colon or semi-colon when starting a list) a strange scaly man (I should probably stay away from him), a sea elf (potential competition), a huntress and her bodyguard (a strange duo but at least they can provide food), a strange girl who talks in Shakespearean English (strange but okay), a farm-girl who seems puts herself above everyone else (a potential client) , a retired castle guard (probably pretty handy with a sword), an Elven mage (great, an ELF), a woman with a talent for herbs (hmm, a healer, perhaps?), and the messenger Kerwin (perfect, one of these dolts). The messenger started to speak, saying things like oath this and pledge that and “Oh the king is the greatest!” We all took the oath (some more reluctant than others). Once all of us were ready for the task, he said that there was an ogre attacking a nearby town and we would get a 100 gold reward for taking care of it. Off we went to the town, not knowing what troubles and misadventures might await us.

Things to work on: Watch your tenses, capitalization, spacing and punctuation. If you start a paragraph using a first person perspective talking in a past tense, make sure you stay consistent in using it through out the whole paragraph. I’ve italicized most of the edits so you can see what I changed. Congrats on making the first log! I look forward to reading more of them. :) – OS

Comments

I find it amusing that Kom knows what rat scrotum smells like. I don’t really want to know why. Congratulations for posting the first log of our adventure!

The meeting (Kom)
 

Hmm, potential competition, huh?
I love how for my character, you view as potential competition and then for the Elven mage, it’s great, an ELF.

@OS, of course he knows, it’s just the way he likes it.

The meeting (Kom)
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